On Dating a Divorced Father
When dating someone who has been married before, there are responsibilities that come with divorced men that most single women don’t think much about. These women might assume that previously married men are completely available to devote time and energy into a relationship now that they are free to date whomever they wish. However, this is not always the case. For an insecure, jealous, or immature, single woman dating a divorced father can be a nightmare.
He may have the ex wife, a former mistress, and some lovers in his past. As much as he would like to forget these people while assuring you that “…it’s all in the past,” take time to ask him questions when issues come up, “Why do you keep in contact with the ex if you have no children? Why do you bother talking to your children’s mother(s) about your personal life? Why do you feel your former lovers are great friends?” The more questions you ask, the more likely he might accuse you of being insecure or jealous, but an intelligent woman planning for her future should question a man who has a lot of baggage. It is better you find out how he responds to difficult situations now then later.
Divorced fathers might be proactive in their children’s lives and other times they are not. Some will use the excuse, “The mother won’t let me see them.” Yet, this may not be the issue, sometimes men, who are struggling with mid-life issues, will spend much time away from their children before wanting to be a part of their lives. Protective mothers will fight with the fathers about the children when this happens. Rather than staying out the drama, sometimes jealous girlfriends, mothers and children can all be part of the problem.
A young woman who has never married may desire to marry. A man who has already been married and experienced divorce might want to stay unmarried. This can be an issue for both if one is pressuring the other to get married due to any of the following: religious convictions, a desire to wear the title, “wife,” influence from family and friends, and fantasies of what married life might be.
Unfortunately the new partner in a man’s life isn’t always welcome into his family circle especially when an ex is still very much a part of the family. When this happens, it can cause problems in the relationship, between partner and his relatives and others. If the divorced man is not firm with his family and doesn’t express his new partner’s role in his life, there is never any connection established.
Too much money or too little money can pose a problem between a single woman and a divorced man. He may have to set aside a portion of his earnings to pay a mother of his children and many bills. When a man has no money to date, he can become irritable and the woman he is dating will begin to tire of footing the bills.
The divorced father is working a job, sometimes two or three while visiting with children. This leaves little free time to meet the wishes of a new partner. A busy schedule will ruin any romance before it starts. Be understanding when it comes to his juggling of children, work, and personal time, will help in keeping the man in one’s life for a time.
Dating a divorced father need not be a negative experience if a date is aware of what the man’s responsibilities might be and how she fits into his life. But what can become a significant issue when dating someone, who has been divorced one, two, three or more times, is that oftentimes one doesn’t know, until she has fallen in love, how years of emotional trial have taken their toll on her gentleman friend.
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